Microwaves, like genies, have a small reserve of magical energy that can grant three wishes. However, most everyone wastes this energy by wishing for hot food.

After about a thousand hours of production and one and a half months of running late, Valentine's Day 2012 is finally ready for viewing purposes. As I discussed in previous posts, this will be the final annual installment of the Valentine's Day series for the following reasons:

• Danielle and I have agreed that these are taking way too much time to produce, and we'd rather spend time together instead of me spending five months on 50 hour production weeks.
• This is the first year this started to feel like an obligatory chore rather than a fun opportunity to make something neat.
• I feel these animations are starting to get a little repetitive.

 This is the only one of my series that will have an unexpected, 'cancelation' style ending. I've had the plans written out on how to end the other series (SuperVillain, SpermRider, and Sock) for three to four years now.
However, in a few years, I'd like to come back to the series and make a climatic, send-off episode, but for now we've agreed that it's best to end the series here.

Considering how every episode seems to involve some kind of car/vehicle thing, Danielle and I also think that the series would make for an awesome racing game sometime in the distant future.

 This animation marks the official debut of the new 'digital composition' post-production technique I'm using to save time. 2007's "VoyageWaffle," 2010's "The Faster the Treadmill," and the upcoming "Empire of Sock" technically all did this previously to some extent, but "Valentine's Day 2012" is the first to extensively use it. Due to rushing and a gross overestimation of how much I could achieve with it, I composed some of the shots poorly and had to over-rely on digital blurring and other effects to make the shots look nice when compiled. I like how the final product looks, but I'm going to avoid making the same mistakes in future because I hate losing details.

 Since the new method requires me to painstakingly scan every frame one at a time, and my scanner is going senile, I had to make this paper frame thing to preserve the light levels. Unfortunately excessive exposure to the scanner's crazy x-ray light thing caused some adverse side effects. Sorry Scanny Buddy, your eyesight died for a good cause.

Anyway, with Valentine's Day out of the way, the Empire of Sock can finally birth. The entire piece is penciled and inked, and the first two minutes have been fully completed (as previously previewed). All that remains is going back and redoing a couple of shots I don't like anymore, coloring the last 75% of the film, and postproduction.
This means I'll be seeing you all at some point in the next decade.

The Final Delay

Since 2008, I've had each of my series more or less planned out: how many more episodes I'll be making, how they'll end; which characters should return, which characters should die, which characters need to lose some organs/heads; amorphous genetic monstrosities made from human limbs, flying condom carpets, and nuclear warhead spiders- all planned. Except for Valentine's Day. This short was initially just a one-off gift, not really meant to go anywhere (as evidenced by the slightly awkward and directionless sequel, VD2008).



Since it began, I decided to make them for as long as was possible, or as long as both Danielle and myself enjoyed them. However, since 2007, each installment has more or less increased in complexity. This has become a problem for two reasons- A) the more time these gifts require, the less time I spend with the recipient. "Valentine's Day 2012" saw me working 50+ hour weeks throughout December, and we've both agreed this has become slightly unhealthy. Reason number B): The Valentine's Day series, being the only series with a deadline, has been nearly single-handedly responsible for every major production delay in history. "Empire of Sock" has now been put on hold twice to make way for this series.



And so, Valentine's Day 2012 is going to be 1) probably a little late because of it's complexity, and 2) the last regular update to the Valentine's Day series. In a few years, I'd like to make one final "send off" episode for the series to tie everything off properly (as VD2012 wasn't written with it being a finale in mind). So, see you in later-than-usual February/early March for the penultimate "Valentine's Day 2012."

Trendy SOPA/PIPA post + DIY Free Gift That You Had All Along

As you might have heard, the government is getting all up in our cooking apparatus again in an attempt to pass SOPA/PIPA. In short, these are bills that will disembowel the internet and offer its organs as tribute to the Gods of the Entertainment Industry (who have become angered as they have chosen to think that online piracy is to blame for their lack of success, rather than the truth, which is that nearly everything they sell is uninspired trash).

The record labels that own the music that I've made officially commissioned music videos for are already kind of unmanageable. One, in particular, continuously flags my videos on YouTube, I theorize, in order to put ads on them (ungratefully failing to realize that my videos are already free advertising for them, and they should be thankful to even have them online). If these laws were to pass, my site could automatically be shut down without my consent in a similar act of kerdickery, and I would have to go through court to prove that I have the rights to upload my own work. (In reality, if these bills pass, I'll just rip the music out of the videos in question and replace them with a proper soundtrack. And considering some of the music's quality, that'd be beneficial to everyone.

Anyways, instead of blacking my site out or putting melodramatic censor strips over logos, I did something else. As I mentioned earlier, I spent a month or so in early 2011 remastering all my work in HD. I did this with intent to put out a DVD later on, but then I realized something. I art because I enjoy it. Not because of money. These multi-billion dollar enterprises and (to a slightly lesser extent) their artist-slaves are already rolling in lakes of cash and seas of supporters, but I've become content with my tiny shack of a career, out in the middle of some dense woods that not many venture out to because of all the ticks. And so I uploaded all the 1080p files of my work (originally intended for the DVD) to MegaUpload for free download.




But then the government realized they didn't need SOPA nor PIPA to be corrupt and took down MegaUpload on a bunch of overinflated charges and technicalities. Along with all the files I spent a few days uploading. As I don't have time to put them up on another site (only for the government to tear them down too), I've made some instructions (that many of you may have already known about) in order to download any of my work in HIGH DEFINITION.

STEP 1) Go to http://www.blip.tv/barfquestion
STEP 2) Scroll down and click on the animation you wish to download.
STEP 3) Copy the URL
STEP 4) Go to http://www.keepvid.com
STEP 5) Paste the URL of the selected video into the text field and hit DOWNLOAD in a dramatic fashion
STEP 6) Right click and select "Save File as" on your desired file type.
        Select >>Download MP4<< - 1080p if you want a HUGE FILE for GRAND PURPOSES such as burning a DIY compilation DVD.
        Select >>Download MP4<< - 240p if you want a TINY FILE for TINY PURPOSES such as putting the animation on a mobile/handheld device.
        Select >>Download M4V<< - 360p for some kind of iPod format thing. It is fairly tiny, and also suitable for tiny purposes, like putting on mobile devices.



You absolutely can:
• Feel free to make archives/torrent(s) of these files and upload it to various file sharing/torrent sites. File sharing sites are getting hit hard though, so be aware that your hard work might go to waste.
• Copy these files to your various fancy mobile devices.
• Copy these files to your various not fancy mobile devices.
• Burn DVDs to share with friends, fellow fans, or family.
• Use screen captures/footage for fan sites/media/tattoos, etc. (Use with discretion. Stumbling upon good fanstuff boosts self-esteem and productivity. Stumbling upon cancerous fanstuff makes me question if I should even be uploading my work to the internet in the first place).
• HURRY AND DOWNLOAD THEM ALL BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND THE FEDS TAKE DOWN KEEPVID TOO WAUGH.


You absolutely can not:
• Upload these files to other video hosting sites/film festivals.
• Charge money for these files.

Happy Holidays and remember to steal, share, and enjoy!

EYES! Cease your bleeding!

Are you tired of watching animations in full screen and being treated to this heresy?

Wouldn't you rather be treated to this kind of heresy instead?

Remember earlier this year when I said I put off Empire of Sock for an entire, precious month just to reshoot and remaster my older projects? That's right. They're online now, and making a marginal difference to everyone, everywhere. You can head over to the films page or my new blip.tv page and start rewatching everything in shiny HD. The 'HD' doesn't stand for 'high definition' (as it's probably not technically HD), but rather 'Hot Dangity' (because it's a lot better than what we had before).

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HD Remastering change log of petty changes:
• All animations have been reshot and remastered except for:
 - ARGHHHTOR (because some of the original frames are missing due to being burned during filming)
 - VoyageWaffle (because I was missing the live-action/photo components)
 - You Don't Want to Leave (because I hate it)

• SuperVillain is now semi-colored due to a poor coloring job done several years ago for an On Demand-only TV special.

• Valentine's Day 2007 has new music.

• SuperVillain 3 has slight timing/editing fixes, as well as improved lighting effects.

• SuperVillain IV has additional sound effects for the Popezord's movement.
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Meanwhile on the update front: Valentine's Day 2012 is well underway and looking like it might be the largest and most complicated episode yet, which means I'm in for an insanely hectic couple of months (after which I get to enjoy another insanely hectic couple of months finally getting Empire of Sock completed). Hitting Stuff at a Building is, as always, cruising along. It is often cruising in a stationary fashion however, as I'm a jerk and keep holding it back in order to add more stuff in.



In case you missed it, I also released a preview consisting of the first two minutes of Empire of Sock on Halloween. Go check it out!

THE ANIMATIONS HAVE ACHIEVED CRITICAL MASS

As you might have heard from the endless torrent of whining going on in the comic, Empire of Sock has reached maximum density and is actively collapsing into some kind of black hole that only obliterates time. I thought this would be a good time to go back and explain just how ridiculous things have become through demonstrating exactly how much these animations have mutated over the last five years. After all, excuses are the currency that fuels the.. printing presses, so let's.. end this sentence. I'm under the impression that this entry will be really, really boring, but everyone's always on my case to tell them about how I animate, SO YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELVES!

(click to enlarge)

Way back in 2007 when BarfQuestion Films began, animations were retarded little things that took maybe 10 - 15 hours max to pump out. Black and white, with little to no shading, and sketchy, ass style that I was able to whip out on the fly because I hadn't discovered quality standards or the existence of light tables (as I was tracing all my frames in midair over a hand powered flashlight that died every two to three minutes.

(click to enlarge)

After awhile of this I decided I'd be really hardcore and spend more than a week on these things. Thus production time bumped up to 30-40 hours and I started doing really fancy stuff, like shading! This black and white stuff got really old though, and I decided to finally start applying myself.

(click to enlarge)

Having finally acquired a light table, I began saving a lot of time because I wasn't stopping every three minutes to wind the flashlight back up and didn't have to break my wrists attempting to trace frames in midair. I could also work past 10 p.m. without pissing off my roommate by making hideous whirring sounds from the aforementioned flashlight winding. Having finally discovered the time-saving magic of self induced insomnia, BarfQuestion Films achieved a new level. And so I made the transition into low quality, extra scribbly, and low saturation color. At this point, things started to get more out of control, and I slowly moved into production time involving hours in the triple digits.

(click to enlarge)

The fourth stage revolved mostly around learning to not suck so much. As in, making the colors more vivid, and the animation more swooshy and fancy-like. Now animations were solidly out of the "took me dozens of hours to animate" region and fully into "took me hundreds of hours to animate" territory. And here is where I hit a wall. Having achieved critical mass, I could no longer effectively increase the amount of detail in these films without exponentially increasing production time. I knew I had to do something if the madness were to further escalate.


With 2010's "The Faster the Treadmill" music video, certain shots required that I 'composite' several frame elements on top of each other, instead of drawing every detail of every frame for every frame like I usually do. Suddenly it occurred to me that I could use this process for my normal animations too. A huge amount of time is wasted on shots where the background is simply three repeating frames, but the subject is moving all over. So why draw the background dozens of times? Why not just make the three background frames separately and then composite the action on top of it? I then researched this and learned that this is basically how all animation is done, since forever, and I was just being retarded this whole time. Just another 'self taught animator' moment.


For the "you wouldn't have these problems if you used computers 100% of the time" faction of fans, I ALREADY TRIED THAT. I'm not very good with computers but this program called KidPix sounded pretty legit, but not even that lived up to my expectations. And no one's going to convince me that there's a better computer drawing program than KidPix. It has an ice cream stamp.

I was under the impression that this new method would magically hurl me through animations at the speed of light, and became severely depressed after spending over half a year on "Empire of Sock." WHY WASN'T THE MAGIC WORKING? WHY IS IT STILL TAKING SO LONG?? I did a quick, rough estimate today and realized that "Empire" is going to be like 7-10 minutes of non-stop action sequences (and insanely detailed ones at that). Suddenly everything makes sense. The upside to this is that this episode should be the best yet, besides possibly breaking the record for my longest animation. The bad news is that it seems I will have to drop production on this at the beginning of November in order to get "Valentine's Day 2012" out on time. Production on "Empire" will then resume in February, hopefully seeing a release by April. Even worse, I realized recently that the "SuperVillain 6" trailer said it would be out in 2011, and I'll be lucky to get that thing out before 2013 at this rate as it is just as enormous and hectic as "Empire" will be (if not more). Fortunately, several of the series are nearing their ends, and the ever escalating production times will finally cease (hopefully).

Well after all that boring animation technique jargon/whining/excuse-making, I should probably drop some new info on the third episode. Talks have been underway, and the Hamster Alliance will be producing the score for this episode. And the music I've heard so far is some really incredible stuff that matches the tonal shift and atmosphere of the piece perfectly. Secondly, I did a ton of planning and writing for this project. Because of this, the visuals and narrative are both complex and at their most surreal in this one, although I guarantee there will be loads of retards writing it off as "totally random" or "you sure must do a lot of drugs" because I'm not dumbing it down to make sure the imagination-deficits will understand it. I've also been sure to include multiple scenes of nearly every creature and character in the series thus far (as well as several new ones), as to make sure everyone gets in on the action. The only people that will be disappointed will be fans of the propane tank from "Dawn of Sock," and big heart catfish thing from "Advent." But that's okay, because most people thought the propane tank was a jar of exploding mayonnaise.

Okay, my self-esteem meter is bottoming out as the voices telling me that this information is really inane and boring are getting really loud and exasperated. I'm trying to update the comic whenever possible, time's just in short supply lately. But there are like a million stupid easter eggs that I'm sure no one's found yet, so I'll just leave you all with that in an attempt to frustrate and keep you all entertained a little (actually a long) while longer.

Messy, Poorly Drawn Keyframes Sure Make Great Teasers

Penciling on Empire of Sock is, as always, taking forever for a variety of reasons. While you wait, please enjoy the complementary peanuts (both invisible and intangible) and these teasers consisting of malfunctioning rough sketches/keyframes (that I've since turned into much prettier actual frames).






At one point I was having serious difficulties animating how Ceriazibus' heads split open and ended up drawing it like a tiny bird.
Final product guaranteed to be 500% less cute. Anyway, I'll get back to you in five years when all the animating is finished.

Valentine's Day Double Feature!

Happy Extra Special Early Valentine's Day! As you should have watched by now, Valentine's Day 2011 has been completed and is online! As previously mentioned, this one is a bit shorter than normal because someone complained that it was really hard to match a gift that took several hundred hours to make, but someone doesn't realize that someone is so special that she totally deserves such a time consuming gift.

Speaking of Valentine's Day gifts, this year Danielle gave me a super awesome present in the form of an adorable flash game! I made some artwork for it and we added some extras and the result is a game by the title of Cardiac Snowdrift! (Click the link to play, or alternatively play it with medals on NewGrounds here)

There are a couple of neat features we're really proud of in this. Firstly, thirteen different characters from the Valentine's Day series periodically pop up and comment on your progress!

Next, in the past years I've gotten several commission requests to make Valentines for other people's significant others, which I absolutely refuse to do (paying other people to express affection for you is not expressing affection)! But this game contains a kind of compromise! By rapidly picking up hearts quickly enough, you'll unlock one of thirteen, downloadable Valentine's Day cards (although two are unlocked under special conditions)!

These were inspired by those stupid elementary school era, slip of cardboard style Valentines you glue candy to. You can download, print, email, send and/or creepily palm them to whoever you want!

There is also an easter egg for anyone who earns 99,999 points (we estimate this would require playing the game without dying for about 70-100 hours straight).

This is only a small beginning for BarfQuestion Games. As previous posts have shown, we're still in the middle of a much larger game called "Hitting Stuff at a Building." I can't give any estimates at all about when our other games will be coming out (they are really slow and unpredictable), but this is our tentative queue for game projects:

1. Hitting Stuff at a Building

Destroy a gargantuan skyscraper with a badminton racket, and of course, stuff.

2. The Adventures of Puddlenaut

The (hand drawn) 8-bit game featured in "The Faster the Treadmill" music video, including an open ended free will mode starring Fetusaur.

3. Orb of Sock

Burning victims and summoning giant monsters as Sock.. in a pinball machine.

4. SuperVillain Simulator (working title)

Could quite possibly be the most open ended game ever designed. Do everything you've always wanted to as our cardboard clad antagonist.

5. Barfnarök (working title)

A massively indulgent game. Not going to say anything else about this right now.

Anyways, that's more than enough of getting your hopes all up (just so I can dash them against the pavement later WAHAHAH). Next up is "Empire of Sock!" I'm going to be doing some animation experimentation on this one, so there is a good chance I'll be posting about it again well before it is released.