Wednesday, January 11, 2017


The paths of a lost fungal spore and a validation-seeking plastics factory worker gradually and disastrously converge as their ambitions bring them into contact with horrific aspects of humanity.

Zehkiflorn will be the first in a trilogy of films, with each film being vaguely inspired by a series of animated shorts that I created between 2007 and 2014 for the internet.

Q: Are you seriously just remaking all your shit again?
A: Despite a few cosmetic similarities, Zehkiflorn has almost nothing to do with the SuperVillain series.

Q: What about SuperVillain 6?

Q: What about Rictus of Sock?
A: After Zehkiflorn, I'd like to use my ideas for Rictus in my second film project. Unlike Zehkiflorn, it will draw more heavily on the Sock series for inspiration.

A: Consider "Empire" to be a bad end where the destruction caused by the warring Gods prevented humanity from overcoming the crisis. More info buried in here. 

Q: Okay okay (NOT OKAY), is Sulek at least doing the music?
A: Nope, the film's contents are not something they want to be associated with. I don't want to rope any musicians into the eternal rollercoaster that is this film's incomprehensibly long production time, so I'm not specifically recruiting anyone at the moment.

Q: What's up with the website?
A: Besides it being just the neatest thing ever? For starters, it's still in beta, and we will add in more features over the next year (improved video player, embedded comic and news readers, new merchandise, 1990's mode for shitty computers, bug fixes, etc). It might not be terribly friendly with older browsers, but it is mobile compatible.

Q: I can't think for myself and therefore can't find anything on the new site?
A: Idiot proofing successful!

Q: Will we never see you again?
A: Bye!

Sunday, January 8, 2017

The SuperVillain Abortions

I'd like to talk about a huge mistake I made: SuperVillain 6. Originally advertised as coming out in 2011, the lingering promise of this sequel quickly proved to be hilariously or infuriatingly wrong depending on what type of fan you are. As previously mentioned, in a few days I'll be abandoning the internet and setting off to work on real films which means SuperVillain 6-10 get to join Codefenestration, ToastProphet, and Sezja in the dead project corpse furnace.

Way back when I only had whorish dreams of pumping out web-based episodes of series until they ran dry, I originally had the ambition of making five more SuperVillain cartoons solely on the rationale that "SuperVillain X" sounded like a cool title for a final SuperVillain short. As such, the plots were gimmicky and repetitive, even for a series that consisted of nothing but a little creature going around and hitting people with various objects. It got to the point where one plot outline was just SuperVillain on a plane that goes down on an island and it makes everyone's life hell during an already traumatic event. That's when I knew this had gotten out of hand and I needed to reel this crap in.

So the series was narrowed down to just SuperVillain 6 and 7, with SV7 being the final installment. For years the scripts have been rotting away on my computer, so I will summarize them here, accompanied by low effort scribblytimes.

SuperVillain 6
SuperVillain 6 is essentially an edgy re-skin of SuperVillain IV, a fact I realized during pre-production that really put me off the project. It concerns another BarfQuestion-type thing (named "OtherVillain" in the script) that lives in a junkyard and is obsessed, perhaps even erotically, with SuperVillain. Its den is lined with newspaper articles about SuperVillain, which this other villain lovingly caresses while breathing heavily. To this end, it has created a winged robot suit out of scrap metal in order to be just like its hero.

Meanwhile, SuperVillain sets up a bear trap in a changing station and wrecks havoc at a carnival by getting into a fight with a gang of alcoholic clowns. Fortunately this terrible concept is promptly exploded by OtherVillain who flies in, unleashing a barrage of lasers and missiles. Because these are things you can build with the contents of a junkyard.

SuperVillain is put off by this wanton destruction because there's nothing left to ruin, and so it leaves dejectedly. OtherVillain is saddened by the lack of acknowledgment from its hero and pursues SuperVillain, spreading destruction in its wake and ruining all of SuperVillain's fun. SuperVillain finally has enough of this and attacks its fan in retaliation, only to take a claw in the eye. OtherVillain is horrified at what it has done, but is also seemingly aroused by the blood on its claws, shuddering as it licks them off. This is an "improved version" of the script, as in the original they only fought it out in pure territorial rage. I eventually made a more "improved version" of this script by crushing it into a ball and throwing it in the trash. However even in ball form it was still too edgy and somehow managed to cut my bin in half and I had to buy a new one.

SuperVillain sleeps off the facial impaling while OtherVillain destroys the city. We cut to a man with a spatula-sized facial scar watching the news. He gets up and opens a high tech closet, inside which is the Hero suit from "SuperVillain II". The Hero arrives on the scene and fights OtherVillain.

Meanwhile, SuperVillain has some bad dreams about being bored/burning to death and wakes up, having apparently gone through the "SuperVillain IV" emotional arc again where it decides to get back into business despite the recent defeat. SuperVillain joins the fray as the Hero is about to win, and the Hero offers SuperVillain his hand in friendship. SuperVillain instead tugs the Hero into the path of OtherVillain's oncoming attack, and spends the rest of the fight using the Hero as a human shield to soak up OtherVillain's ammunition. With the Hero out of commission, the two villains enter a nearby shopping center where SuperVillain amputates OtherVillain's gatling gun tail with a heavy duty paper cutter.

Turns out OtherVillain somehow also built a flying fortress under the junkyard because ??!?. The fortress enters the city and begins destroying it some more, but SuperVillain piggybacks on the retreating OtherVillain and lands atop the fortress to continue this bloated and completely disinteresting fight. Meanwhile the Hero presses a button on his suit and turns purple, giving him the ability to shoot a solidifying, volatile gas. BECAUSE ??!?. All three duke it out on the roof of the flying fortress, with OtherVillain getting sucked into a jet turbine by a tape measurer. Somehow the Hero ends up dangling off the ledge of the fortress, and SuperVillain kicks his fingers off, sending the Hero plummeting to his death. 

We cut to a "SuperVillain Support Group" which consists of a lot of bandaged people and kids suffering from shaken baby syndrome. SuperVillain shows up and terrorizes the PTSD victims by pouring salt into a burn victim's full body cast. And with that, this disgustingly excessive and utterly redundant cavalcade mercifully comes to an end. After three separate drafts all made with the intent of making this less generic, I hate this thing more than ever and am very glad I dropped it in favor of Empire of Sock. Unfortunately it is far from the worst idea I had for this series…

SuperVillain 7
Winter has come and humanity has finally had enough. Fork Laboratories (the organization from Grumatorium) is created by the government with the intent of putting an end to SuperVillain and general BarfQuestion related destruction as a whole. The military is deployed in full force and SuperVillain must escape its apartment building while fending off tanks with a gas station squeegee.

Replacing the trademark cardboard mask for a more bulletproof one made out of an ammo crate, SuperVillain escapes the military blockade only to be greeted by Fork Laboratories' secret weapon: a multicolored nudibranch-like mutation that absorbs all living matter. It has been busy eating lab workers, so it is now an amalgamation of human limbs. Because of its voracious nature, the Lab has brought in a portable nuclear reactor/emitter/MacGuffin to suppress and guide the creature.

Of course SuperVillain eventually ends up behind the controls of the reactor and starts blasting the monster with nuclear energy because we are miles above the shark at this point. The deus-ex-machina reactor goes into meltdown while in use for some reason, probably because it (like us) wants out of this horrible project, and promptly explodes.

The evacuated townspeople watch the mushroom cloud from a nearby cliffside, when a flaming scrap of SuperVillain's tie drifts through the air and wraps around a kid's face, sending him screaming off the cliff. The end.

Well, you're all welcome for not making these. Hopefully your confidence in me hasn't been shaken too hard. There were a scant few ideas from these scripts that were worth saving, and have made their way into a future project. I've omitted them from this post for this reason, and also because it makes these plot summaries look even worse. LET US ALL HATE ALONG TOGETHER.

It should be apparent by now that I intended for all of my web content to be part of the same timeline (check it out while it's still available), and even more apparent that I want a fresh start from this mess where I can fully explore my ideas and do some actual world-building without the restraint of this pre-existing and poorly explained continuity quagmire. You might notice a few loose ends on the site here and there for the next few days while we switch over to the new website design, including some pre-release anniversary content (like this post and the timeline for example) if you hunt around a little. I'll see you all one final time on or around the 12th!